Can You Tell I Am A Teacher?

My Doggy Ate My Homework

By Dave Crawley

“My doggy ate my homework.

He chewed it up,” I said.

But when I offered my excuse

My teacher shook her head.

I saw this wasn’t going well.

I didn’t want to fail.

Before she had a chance to talk,

I added to the tale:

“Before he ate, he took my work

And tossed it in a pot.

He simmered it with succotash

Till it was piping hot.

“He scrambled up my science notes

With eggs and bacon strips,

Along with sautéed spelling words

And baked potato chips.

“He then took my arithmetic   

And had it gently fried.

He broiled both my book reports   

With pickles on the side.

“He wore a doggy apron

As he cooked a notebook stew.

He barked when I objected.

There was nothing I could do.”

“Did he wear a doggy chef hat?”

She asked me with a scowl.

“He did,” I said. “And taking it

Would only make him growl.”

My teacher frowned, but then I said   

As quickly as I could,

“He covered it with ketchup,   

And he said it tasted good.”

“A talking dog who likes to cook?”   

My teacher had a fit.

She sent me to the office,   

And that is where I sit.

I guess I made a big mistake   

In telling her all that.

’Cause I don’t have a doggy.   

It was eaten by my cat.

 

 

It's pretty obvious that I am a teacher (well, technically a media specialist). Have been since 1984. Sometimes, that's a bit hard to fathom - that I have been in this profession since I was 25 years old. I'm almost 53 now. This is my 28th year, and I still LOVE/ADORE/YEARN to read to children. 

 

Even the chattiest, most sociable group of five-year-olds will hush when they hear the rainstick (my ritual start to storytime) because they don't want to miss a good story. That's not to say that all the books I read are hits - some are resounding flops. And it's funny - a picture book can be absolutely loved by one class, and another class (same age) might say, "meh". There's a lot of chemistry at play during storytime.

 

I haven't posted any photos in awhile. Here's one:

These are REAL women.